Excerpts from a Letter

Didn't get as much work done as I wanted to. Plenty earlier, but not now. Spent too much time losing heart about work. Wrote the following earlier to a friend, not included in its entirety, but enough to paint a picture

"I’ve been working so hard in the past few weeks, I haven’t had much time to get out and socialize. I feel like I’ve sacrificed one need for another, and placed career once more before friends. It isn’t exactly that dire -- nothing, physically, has changed. I have not lost or angered any new friends, but I feel like I spent so much time working, I haven’t been able to forge new ones! This is my first semester here, and (breathless) what a rush everything has been, but now it is ending, my finals are eminent, I am contemplating what to do when the majority of the students leave for winter break, and I am confronted with the harsh reality that I really haven’t nurtured many friendships at all! It isn’t so bad -- I’m not here to network or win a popularity contest, but when I look back on my day, I see all that I’ve accomplished, but also that I have no one to share it with, no one! It is then that I entertain notions of life being sad, work being futile, and all of those nihilistic, cynical, existential views of life being true!"

"I received your last letter warmly. ... How I wish you were here, and we could reminisce, and talk about our families, teachers, frustrations, and theories. UPenn is everything I wanted it to be, but my time here has not been perfect. I took on too many obligations to save a little time and money, and I’m not sure how far it has all gotten me. I try not to worry every day. There is no one to listen to me. I have one friend who I see regularly, but he breaks schedules and does not listen very well."

"You really shouldn't let me wander off on tangents so much. There is just so much that has gone on since I saw you last. I miss you. I did not want it to be this way exactly, but I suppose more has gone right for me than has gone wrong, and that is something to be grateful for. I have so many things to do now. You'll hear from me again. Take care."